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77 Mind Studio
Our reactions. Article 9 March 2026.
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference
For years this was my screensaver in my phone. I guess I thought it was very appropriate for me since stubbornness and impatience are not strange concepts in my life…
Serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
I think this has a very bad reputation because sometimes we confuse accepting a situation with having no choice on the matter. The reality is that, even in a situation where we cannot change absolutely nothing, we have options and freedom. We are free on how to react to the situation. In fact, our reaction is far more important to our brain and his cousin, our nervous system, than the reality itself. If we do not see a situation as a threat, our brain and his cousin will rest. In a nutshell: If life gives you lemons, make lemonade…
For instance, at the office you spill coffee just before a meeting with your boss, lemon lemon situation. When you are about having a not so nice inner talk with yourself, the woman you wanted to talk for days enters the room and you laughed together. Now you are happy it happened because she can see how cool you are and that you don’t make a mountain of a little grain..
So, what happened? You still have coffee all over your T-shirt. You still have a meeting with your boss. The situation did not change. What changed? Your perspective. Yes, the fact that you like the girl does not mean that YOU changed your perspective. It means that you had helped to change your perspective.
Many times we are lucky enough to remember how we judge a situation as a disaster and realised that we are actually grateful about it. Don’t you have a friend that is happy that they did not get the first job they were applying to because the second one suits them much better?
Courage to change the things I can
Another scenario. Now we are aware that we can change the situation but we are not doing it. We want to do it. It will make us happy… but no action. Why? Some people believe that our actions are motivated by pain or pleasure. In other words, we take actions either to gain pleasure or to avoid pain. And we call ourselves rational… I am saying that because pleasure and fear are usually really subjective and therefore, in many many many occasions not rational at all.
When do we take action? Actions come after making a decision. A real decision. A commitment to ourselves. Not a “nice to have”. Each person is different on how to take a decision. One of my favourite techniques: I see myself as a very happy 90 years lady. I am having a tea with the sun in my face wondering if I should have another splash in the sea. And then I see myself in the water because the answer to that question is most of the time: yes, go to the water. I float in the sea looking at the sky and I think about the situation. And the question that helps me decide is: Am I proud because I truly chose happiness? Once this is clear, the decision is clear.
Yes, yes, yes ! There are consequences, and some decisions have huge impact in our lives. True! Reality check? 1- Avoiding these situations rarely leads to solving them. 2- It is much easier to rip out the bandage and face the consequences for a while than to live with yourself every day knowing that you did not fight for what really mattered to you.
Wisdom to know the difference
First, I thought that this was self-explanatory and then I laughed at myself because everybody has millions of scenarios where our brains try to draw a really fine line between what we can do and what we cannot do. They are called EXCUSES and every day we get more creative to have a bunch of those!
To help our wisdom inspire us we may benefit from remembering that we tend to overestimate what could we achieve in a short period of time and underestimate what we could achieve in a long period of time. For example, many of us have dreamt of becoming financially independent in three months (or a week if you play the lottery) and disregard the option of making a steady financial plan to save money, invest smartly and see results in over 10 or 15 years.
To conclude, I love this quote AND, at the same time, sometimes I am tempted to change it for:
Give me focus to choose my reactions to the situations I cannot change, courage to do what makes me happy, and honesty with myself to tell the difference.
In our online workshops, we address specific topics:
Clarity, energy levels, time management, etc.
There is always a way
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